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“The Journey with Grace,” my blog, is seven years old this November. Each year, come June 10, I’ve written a “happy birthday to me” post. So, Happy Double Nickel Birthday to me. I’m halfway through my fifth decade now, and as my birth month approached, I wasn’t sure what I’d write to you here. But material, as the living of life always does, was delivered. So, Here we go. Keep reading. This post is not about blogging…for you non-bloggers who could care less. (I get it.):
There’s plenty of Boomers out there blogging, but I’m pretty confident, we are not the lot of them. More likely Gen-Xers are the dominant lot. You know, that group of young thangs that came after us. Folks born of the 70s and whose minds, I swear it on a stack of bibles, are wired differently than mine, although I cannot seem to get them to understand that fact. I kinda like them. (I like anyone better once they crest 40. And that’s not reverse ageism. Forty shifts people into a deeper, more mature reality that’s much more relateable. For most of us, at least.) And, then those Millienials. I don’t know what to think. Love/Hate. They may save us. Maybe. Interesting to watch. But, I digress. After six years of wandering, a stranger in a strange land, a caboose on the train, and old enough to be most everyone’s mother at the blogging conferences I attended, I finally found some folks like me. And, oh, did it feel so good. If you’re a female blogger 40 and up, check out BAM16 (the next Bloggers at Midlife Conference). Join our blogging community, The Women of Midlife on Facebook. And by all means, check out their excellent daily online zine, Midlife Boulevard. Heavens, these folks are awesome. Glory. I finally found my tech tribe. About time.
Psst: I think these aging go-getters are about to ignite a revolution. Tired of being ignored by marketing media, they are doing something about it, bygosh! Again, I’ve found a tribe who doesn’t diss their age—for the most part. Who don’t embrace bunk such as “It’s all down hill from here.”
Which brings me to my own pilgrimage. As the years stack up slowly, yet all too quickly, so do the signs of aging. While I embrace my age, celebrate it, love it, am what I am, I can’t say I joyfully jump and cheer for: The deepening lines, the crepe-y skin emerging here and there, the dimpling, the arms that want to be tone but shoulders that seriously freak out everytime I do a downward dog and that overdosed trying to pump the weight I easily lifted in my midforties, plus the abdomen that too often enjoys mimicking a pastry I rarely consume. (Okay, I confess, I sometimes crave —and give in to—a certain local Vegan Vee gluten-free bakery item—a portion of after which a certain bodily part is affectionately or not-so-affectionately named.)
But, once I get over the momentary wincing at the mirror or realize that no matter how many times I pucker my blouse in an attempt to camoflouage that buldge above my red denim and other “skinny jeans,” I blow it off. Because age and hard, spiritual coal-miners’ work, has taught me to refute what I was instructed by an outward appearance/approval-mongering culture and a career-successful but emotionally wounded depression-era turned clothes-horse mother. I am not my looks. I am much more. I am within. And, so within. So without—? They say….
And while we’re at it, I’ll toss in a little self-righteousness. That may be one thing at which I’m too good. Folks, we are what we eat. Sorry, but we really can’t have our proverbial cake and eat it too. I am ever so grateful that my body broke down at 27 and the way that I learned would build it up and keep it up was to eat real food. Not fake food. Stuff grown of the earth and of the stuff of which our bodies are made. I spent the decade prior eating everything but and my body taught me a major lesson that’s kept me healthy, well, and strong since. We cannot eat crap and forgo exercise and expect to age healthily and without health problems. And don’t give me those grandpa stories. Our grandparents toiled in the fields. That was their bucket-sweating aerobics that worked off the abundance of real food they consumed. In America, we think it is our right to eat junk and not exercise and then expect our over-medicalized, over-prescribing, beaten-up and battered healthcare system will come to our rescue. Want better quality of life? Move and eat live food.
Recently, I rediscovered a balance that a nutritionist taught me after Grace was born. Something akin to the 30-40-30 principle. I’m still figuring it all out here now two decades later as I realized I’d become fat phobic; meat, and thus, protein avoidant, and carb dependent. It’s too easy to fall back on the faux sustenance of carbs. I know as I’m still yo-yo-ing that last five pounds that will return me finally to where I was before I met the gourmet husband, H20, seven years ago. Healthy fats: such as, avocados, virgin coconut oil, nuts; adequate, quality protein, and carbs heavy on the vegetable side. I learned the hard way I must go easy on the carbs, even the good ones. They are loaded with sugars or turn to sugars and that is what turns to body fat on me. And lest this all seem to contradict embracing my body, no it’s about empowering my body to be well, feel well, and look the way I feel most comfortable. Damn the stereotypes—both the stick-thin and the over-the-hill variety.
Walking is easy and it’s good for our bodies. Do more? Good for you. I like to walk. I gave up running more than two decades ago. Not for my ankles and knees. And yoga. Thank god, I discovered yoga when I was 28. It was truly life transforming. We must stretch. Regularly. As we age: yoga, tai chi, or chi gung. Just try not moving and stretching and see what happens. I’d advise anyone not opt for that experiment. I did for a year, convinced that my book took priority over healthy choices. Duh. Hadn’t I learned that before? More than once? Within a year, I could not hold a tree pose and I huffed going up a hill. I’d hope why the later is a problem would be obvious. But tree pose? Stand on one foot. Daily. Switch to the other foot. It’s about balance. Ignore that and try to put on your socks without toppling over. Being mobile, agile, and feeling good going forward into my later years won’t be without some caveats, as my the mirror and my shoulders remind me, but, it’s good insurance.
And lastly, the mind. Only recently did I stop kicking and screaming over confounding technology. About time. And, it occurred to me that by learning to navigate and operate the multiple layers of social media, and my dang computer, I’m challenging my mind. Woah, that sounds like I’m ready to finally say yes to AARP, after five years of their campaigns for my membership. Or, to park in the spaces at the Y for those 55 and up. What. The. Heck!?!
I define old as 80+. Yet, even 80 is not a death sentence. Examples here and here. The Women of Midlife say their demographic extends beyond 60. I agree. But, again, I digress. The mind: keep it positive, and clear the emotional clutter. (I’m still clearing.)(Arduous work here.) And, positive? I’ve not been Polly Positive here in the land of social media as of late as I navigate the challenging new waters of my daughter with autism’s aging out of her services in a year. I’m aware of that and working on my attitude. It’s my old, annoying English Bull Dog persona. Clench and shake the hell out of delimma until I sort all the pieces and how the can come together. I apologize.
Which brings me to the final trifecta. As I age, I take care of my body for me. I’m doing it for me because I want quality of life, to feel good, to look good. (I haven’t tossed the mirrors and I’ll forever be my mother’s daughter. But there’s a lot of limits to what I’m willing to do to achieve the female standard of beauty du jour.) I take personal ownership of my body’s health. And, I take responsibility for it because of our culture—a system of healthcare for all of us into which we all pay. We all pay for others who refuse to take care of themselves. And, last, I do it for Grace.
Studies show special needs mothers too often have a form of PTSD from the copious stressors, which also affect their DNA, resulting in a shortened lifespan. I want to be there for my only child. So, I may or may not be blogging then, but I do plan to be sitting in a lotus pose when I’m 100. That’s 45 years from now. Until then, here’s to the double nickel. Ciao and namaste.
happy happy happy birthday. We are just getting better 🙂
Dat truth, Carla! Thank you!
Happy Birthday! I love being 50, even though I joke about it! I am going to register for BAM today so hopefully we will meet. I wish you many years of health and happiness and growing success with your blog.
Elena Peters recently posted…Ageing Gracefully Is An Oxy-Moron
Great advice– a shot in the arm! Have a wonderful birthday, Leisa. Happy to have made a new friend 🙂
Thank you for visiting and glad this was a booster!
Ha. I blew up my life at 50! Sadly, I won’t make it to Vegas. But we can continue to connect on the web. I visited and LOVED your blog! Thanks!
Hi Leisa! Happy Birthday! I definitely agree with all you say about the benefits of aging. I too have no intention of saying it’s all down here from here and won’t–until I reach my peak and I’m surely not there yet! I think a big part of the anit-aging problem is how we have all bought into the idea that youth=good and age=bad. Time to reverse that for sure and with all of us midlife bloggers who have found our voice we can change it! And just know for sure that at 55 you have so much to look forward to! ~Kathy
Kathy @ SMART Living 365.com recently posted…10 Awesome Things At 60 I Never Had At 30
Oh, thanks, Kathy. I love your reply. I may quote you. And yes, I do believe we are beginning to make our voices heard. You are moving, girl. I do see you around the blogosphere a lot. Congrats!
Happy double nickle!! It just gets better with age. I’m sneaking up on 59 and better than I was at 57! BAM was awesome. Let’s be sure to connect at BAM16!
Hi, Jennifer. I like your presence on the web. You’re also everywhere. Ha. I wish I could go back and reconnect at BAM15 because of the connections I now have. I did not stay at the hotel as it was out of my budget and live in Nashville and will not be able to swing Vegas. I was a bit of a stranger in a strange land although I connected through the seminars and the demographics, for sure. But now I have the foundation for those connections. Your face is familiar but would have loved to have met you. I don’t think we met. And, you’re rocking 59, sister! Keep it up! See you ’round the web!
Happy 55th! I’m a handful of years past that, but I agree that we must take care of our bodies – for us, and our years to come! I am taking a fall prevention class, and it is an amazing experience – I’m the youngest person (62) in the class and I see how much joy these seniors get from life, despite eye diseases affecting their vision, joint replacements and other surgeries. injuries from falls, or whatever. Their bodies may be not what they used to be, but inside, they are people with so much to offer.
Alana recently posted…Spring Things – Columbine and Roses
Thanks for commenting, Alana. Sixty-two is young. And right: the outside of these aging adults is not the same but it’s the inside that matters. Age is just a number. But also an attitude. Ha. I just put those two sayings together and realize that the second is a qualifier for the first. If you have an attitude that your age is bad, then it will be. Thanks again. Now, I’m over to visit your blog!
First and foremost Happy Double Nickel ! Personally I think you look more like a quarter plus a dime (as in 35) 🙂 And I agree with you re: Bloggers At Midlife. I spent the first few months since I started my new blog at the beginning of the year wasting a lot of time in other groups with significantly younger women who clearly don’t get me…yet! They will sorry, though, they didn’t pay more attention to what I think is some degree of wisdom to share and save them some time, headaches and heartaches but why should they roll their eyes any less at me than my own children! I’m really looking forward to getting to know more about you and the other “midlifers” and have put BAM16 on my calendar…how can I possibly say no to a few days in Vegas??????
Beth recently posted…The Land of Love: Where Kitschy Meets Marketing Genius
Hi, Beth! Thanks for the birthday wishes and kind comments. I attended BAM15 and it was wonderful. Sadly, I won’t be making it out to Vegas. Glad to know it was not me who felt like the girl standing next to the wall by herself. Thankfully, I just kept blogging all these years, motivated by the passion of what I had to say and not fixating on the other stuff.
LOVE YOUR BLOG!I will sign up…………totally agree with YOU!”WE ARE WHAT WE EAT!”Have you ever watched the people in front of you in the check out line………..they are what they EAT!
Jennifer & Heather sent me………..
Hi, La Contessa. Thank you! Haha. I think often about a self-esteem seminar I attended when I was in my 20s. The speaker said: “You are what you eat. And, some of you are jelly doughnuts.” hahaha True. And, guiltily, yes I have. But luckily, I don’t get much shock value at looking at folks’ groceries at Whole Foods where I shop. (I find conventional grocery stores frustrating for a number of reasons and I’ve shopped health food grocers for nearly 30 years.
Hello Leisa,
Happy 55 and I’m right behind you! Thanks so much for joining the Lifestyle LinkUp I’m co-hosting with Jennifer. Your post is thoughtful and inspirational. It resonates with me on the age thing as well as special needs. In my other life I’m a school psychologist. One of my programs is for adult students (18-22) called the Adult Transition program. In my previous post I shared a photo of their graduation and a party a threw for our hard working special ed. teachers last week. I totally understand your comment about Grace being your greatest teacher. These young people do have so much to offer to us. Love the photos of you two together.
So happy to have discovered your blog today and happy weekend!
Cheers, Heather
Heather Lindstrom recently posted…Lifestyle Linkup-2- #Stylefocus
We’re everywhere aren’t we, Heather? Ha. Meaning people connected with the disAbility community. Just where/when I least expect. Thank you for you positive feedback and kind comments. My daughter is in such a transition program now.
Happy happy birthday! My parents are in their 80s and they are still, quite frankly, kickin’ it in their own way. Aging is not for sissies is one of my dad’s favorite saying. Tis true, but we will all make it as fabulous as possible and you do! Keep rocking. 🙂
Aww. Love stories like these. That’s fabulous for 80s. And the exception. Yay and lucky you, Jamie!
Happy birthday!
Thank you, Jenny!
Happy Birthday Leisa, and happy early 7 year anniversary on your blog. What an accomplishment! 🙂
Thank you, Paula!
You may be double nickels but you look forty! For real.
Great seeing you and Grace today. Both sent from Heaven. Your text did not make it to my phone so get back with me so I can get your digits. Thanks for the inspiration Girls. Love Kelly.
I love you “Krazy Kelly.” Your closing line at lunch made my day.