More thoughts on making peace with public perceptions of disAbility differences. (Written as a Facebook response to another special needs mother, much younger than I and newer to the Journey):
Special needs parents have the challenge of not only dealing with the additional complexities that our children bring to our lives but also how to make peace within ourselves about these hurdles.
I'm struggling again with it now, and have been working on how to articulate it for about two years as Grace is BIG and then acts really WACKO at times. Her current behavior is charging into stores and doing this ridiculous looking dance that takes up an isle.
I have to constantly walk the line of:
- what's appropriate behavior,
- not shutting down her joy,
- making sure she's not disturbing others (in restaurants or by blocking aisles,)
- and walking myself through an internal clearing process so that I don't own other people's real or perceived negative energies. That's what can drag us down and shut us down if we let it. We don't need that. The world doesn't need that. And, our children don't need that.
I believe that often it's incumbent on how we react to our children to teach others how to do so.
Photo: A moment of Grace: still, quiet, on the porch glider, chilling after school, captured on Instagram, earlier this fall, in our last condo.
Leisa I really appreciate the description of how you are observing and interacting with Grace and others as she is now a young woman. You have put into words what most parents need to consistently be aware of with their own children and themselves, that is that parents impact their children in so many ways that are taken for granted. By examining and being purposeful in your interactions with Grace — and sharing — you are contributing tremendous good to us all. Thank you!
Margie, thanks. I’m not always gentle with Grace. And the fact that I’ve been less so recently, is a sign that I need to examine what’s going on with me….And, I have a blog post about that coming up in about a month. 🙂
Leisa thanks for reminding me that although “leading by example” may not always be successful with a disabled child or adult, that we can still impact the actions of other around us who may need to exercise more understanding and compassion at times.
Sonia, thanks for your kind comments and for taking the time to make them here.