"Why?" Two friends and I have asked on multiple occasions during separate gatherings with each other:  We know that our spirtual practices of yoga, meditation and journaling–throw in walking in nature, etc.–serve us greatly. They help keep us clear, stable, emotionally fueled. But why have we, during periods in our lives, resisted them?

My Saturday and Sunday mornings these days are dedicated to meditative reading, journaling and meditation. And recently, I had a small breakthrough revelation. I find it very easy to let the morning go by checking Facebook and emails, etc., especially when Grace is here with me versus with her father. Before I know it, the morning’s gone, I must get up and go and there went my practices, my solitude, my Me time, my spiritual-emotional refueling.

That recent morning, I knew I needed to buckle down and read a little and meditate and journal. I would start and then stop, get up and then comeback. I did this about three times. And then finally, I made myself start again. And that's when the reward came. I gained some peace about an incident four days earlier, one that had left my inner world periodically agitated. And, then, also about an evening out with a few professionals in my field that triggered something in me. And then, the same morning, during my meditation, the words came that inspired a future blog post here on "The Journey with Grace."

And then, I got it. It’s about the Ego. The Ego does not want us to change. It wants us to stay down in our pain, wallowing around in what does not serve us. I do not understand all of the reasons for this yet, but I am getting more clear on the detrimental ways of the Ego. It is the Ego that wants us, encourages us to not do these things that help us get clear and quiet and transport us to our truths. Our ego wants us to stay in the dark….

For many years I’ve wondered about this resistance. For four years, I lost connection with my meditation practice. I was confused about an important issue in my life and I could not get clear. I didn’t connect through meditation because I was so disconnected from my spiritual truth and center. As I have written in past posts, I am at peace with that now, especially knowing that that blip in my life was necessary for my spiritual evolution.

For that, I am grateFULL….Practices. They strengthen us. They keep us centered and connected to Source. And that, too, is why they are called disciplines. Reward…comes with discipline. And, in the words of my spiritual teacher:

"Easy. Goes. Nowhere."

Photo: Leisa A. Hammett, copyrighted. San Juan Islands, WA.