Assumption Number One:
Yes, I've been Divorced. No, he was not/is not a scoundrel. No, I was not left Desperate. Destitute. Or, Deeply Depressed from The Big D. We had a healthy, peaceful, professionally mediated Divorce. We conducted ourselves like adults and did not forget that our number one concern was the amazing child we co-created. Yes, Divorce, nonetheless, is very Difficult.
Assumption Number Two:
The Mother-in-Law is not a Witch. Yes, I've remarried. And yes, we have a different-looking family. It includes my Mother-in-Law. If you know me, you know I don't make flippant decisions nor did I get into this arrangement lightly. Yes, there are challenges. Life is challenging.
Assumption Number Three:
I am from the South so I believe like you. I may have grown up with you, gone to the same Baptist college as you and even once-upon-a-time the same church as you….This is about all I'll say right now, this post, this week. But I've written plenty about my spiritual journey on this blog here. My pilgrimage has been fleshed out so far and feels wonderfully authentic, unique and whole to me. Same goes for politics.
Assumption Number Four:
Yes, I have a child with autism. Well-intentioned people who wish to empathize with me, frequently make assumptions about what my life must be like. I'd appreciate a check-in first. Instead of assuming the worst of my autism experience, what about a generic inquiry, such as: "How is that for you?" Or, "What's that like?" I do not mind talking about our journey. I am not ashamed. I embrace my daughter, her autism, my life….If you inquire about her "placement" on the spectrum, I'd appreciate as one person asked me at a conference this weekend: "I realize it's a wide swath. How is she doing?" "Or, where is she on the continuum?" (Instead of an assumption.) I will readily tell you, regardless, that she is moderately severe and minimally verbal. Please do not follow up with: "Oh." Or, worse: "Oh, I'm sorry." I am not sorry. This is my Life. It's not all "Bad." I have a wonderful Life.
Number four is particularly fresh for me right now because I was asked this at least four times just this weekend during a weekend. I appreciate empathy. Just kindly find out first if I or others want or need to receive it, please. Thanks.
Any other Myths out there for Busting here? I'm working on busting what growing older looks and feels like….You?
