Headed up the park hill as Grace typically took a marching lead, I stopped to capture the view ahead with my iPhone. Grace looked ahead at my subject as well and then, suddenly, turned to me and said: “JELLY BEANS!”

“Jelly beans?” I mockingly repeated back to her with a half smile and a quizzical look. She then looked at me wide-eyed and said: “BE CALM! BE CALM!” Followed by “Bump! Bump!” and motioned both fists toward mine for a return greeting. (This was before we moved to practicing elbow bumping protocol.)

I tried to access how much she was feeling and understanding by asking questions to which, per usual, every question was answered with “yes.” So, it all remains a mystery. But, I assume she’s absorbing a good bit on at least a feeling level. She’s already ridden a sea of changes this year with remarkable maturity.

One thing I can say for how I’m coping is that I’m returning daily to the lessons she has taught me through her life lived with autism. I want to blog more about this soon. For now, I’ll say the take home is to get outdoors and move. And, to remember to notice all the good, free stuff. Celebrate it, even.

I figure that Jelly Beans may be in our future celebrations. The Easter Bunny is coming soon and it’s likely that Grace knew that, too, perhaps by the look of the near blossoming landscape. What Grace reminds me is to let the small joys blossom within me by noticing them around me. And, for those small joys to provide sustenance for weathering the unknown. It’s the good stuff in the here-and-now that’s real. It’s the fear of the unknown in the yet-to-be-born future that we allow to drag us down. Grace operates in the here-and-now. And, once again, she is the wise teacher. And I, her mother, am, again, her student….xxL

A modified version of this post was originally published on Facebook two weeks ago. We were one worker down and paying out of pocket for another. We are now two workers down. Grace’s TJ Maxx hours at the time had just moved to a later start time for the next week-and-a-half. That changed again, too, as by the end of the week, the corporation had shuttered globally but compensated their employees for two weeks pay. This was a week before Nashville’s major ordered our city to shelter-in-place. Trips to the park are still permitted and we continue to find solace and salvation in our daily nature communes. This is a different image than the published photo of our ascending trail.