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Tonight’s back porch visitor was a Cecropia, the largest moth native to North America.

I relish these cool evenings. If we’re lucky, they’ll stretch into June, as they’ve done a handful of past summers. Cool enough to keep the back door open until I turn off the lights and close my eyes for the dark of night.

There’s been a lot of critter noise out back, even some of it unwanted human variety a couple weeks ago. (No one was harmed, police are patrolling.) So, I’m on alert these nights:  Something scratching in between the fence posts. Some winged insect gathering wood bits for a nest? Rustling in the adjacent forest—best I could detect, a nosey armadillo. A neighbor’s dog barks in baritone now and again. A wren is either making a nest between the fence walls on a ledge, or, is storing her building materials there. Other wrens snooze in the Japanese lantern and fly like bats outta hell when I open the screechy screen door. Chipmunks rudely knock things over and scatter my heart stones….

Tonight, I heard this moth causing a commotion as it repeatedly flitted into alternating surfaces. No exaggeration, you can verify my tale here, it was the size of my hand. I’m not one to be cissy about bugs and flying creatures, but the ginormous moth actually freaked me a bit. It remained in a frenzied state for about 15-20 minutes, leaving me a little unnerved. It frantically fluttered. It would lighting for three seconds, yet remaining in incessant motion except for a second when it landed and maybe another second before it took off for another perch: above the door, on the screen, on the floor, on the wall, on the fence. There was free air and openings in three directions, but it acted as if it was trapped. Is there a lesson there?

Symbolically, butterflies and their like are about transcendence and transformation. Google sources say seeing a Cecropia means momentous changes are coming. According to one source, “[…] moth spiritual meaning is to trust the changes that are happening and that freedom and liberation are around the corner.” I believe enough and have experienced enough woo in my life to pay attention to these things. And, I am doing the groundwork for some significant changes. That’s some of what the pandemic birthed in me. #Create2021 For starters, we’re for sure this time that we are finally relaunching Grace’s website after being down an embarrassing number of years as we got her situated into adulthood. This time with an online store attached. And, I’m working on my next book, due out this fall—which is a small series of essays reflecting on this odd season we’ve lived through thus far….And there’s more. Stay tuned. —xL

PS: As to trusting the coming changes—I do loop in and out of doubt at times. Writing this book has been more challenging than the last. My first published book was telling the stories of others. This time it’s my story lived in a time of controversy, and that sits me on a hot seat of vulnerability. My inner naysayers at times have had a field day. Until, I regain control, put them in the corner, don dunce hats upon their silly, ugly heads and ignore them. I also found a reason for the moth’s mania:

“Adults are occasionally seen attracted to lights during spring and early summer, a common habit of many moths. It is unclear exactly why these insects visit lights, although a number of theories exist. One such theory posits that artificial lights interfere with the moths’ internal navigational equipment. Moths, and indeed many other night-flying insects, use light from the moon to find their way in the dark of night. Since the moon is effectively at optical infinity, its distant rays enter the moth’s eye in parallel, making it an extremely useful navigational tool. A moth is confused as it approaches an artificial point source of light, such as a street lamp, and may often fly in circles in a constant attempt to maintain a direct flight path.” Awww. It was my patio twinkle lights that caused the big ol’ beautiful winged beast of a moth such distress. I’ll be unpacking the symbolism and lesson in that, too….