Sometimes reality sucks. (Or, we choose to perceive it that way.) I remember the summer of 14. Garnered the best tan of my life (luckily I eventually ceased my sun worship though it took another nearly 10 years). High school loomed and when July 4 exploded in flames of fireworks, I lamented to my friends summer was over. "Over?!" My wise, older friend questioned. Well, it does kind of feel that way still when you realize in about one month (from July 4) school begins and swimsuits will be swapped for school wear.
One of my former clients was a national newspaper chain that started a social media site for mothers. I was one of several moderators for the site for four years. Someone asked on a national discussion thread–the topic, autism–about preparing their child for middle school. I saved my reply to the discussion, below. Though the discussion focuses specifically on middle school, all of this can be adapted to any grade level as well as faith and social communities….
Me to a mother worried about integrating her child with autism into a middle school setting:
Take Faith. Have Hope. Think Positive. And, Believe….Times are changing. I've witnessed it in my 14 years on the autism journey, especially since year 2000. Our society increasingly has exposure to autism spectrum disorders via television and other media, through neighbors, friends, faith communities and family (1 in about 100 children are now diagnosed with autism). Other students may not be as removed from their understanding of ASD as one might perceive. Also, the students may have had exposure at their respective elementary schools.
Middle school can be tough. Here's a melange ideas, all of which at some point I executed to facilitate awareness in my daughter's middle school and other grade levels. Talk to the school counselor and tell her your concerns. Talk to the teachers, too. Ask for "lunch bunches" and social skills training for your child, peer tutoring and training. Get it in your child's IEP (that's Individual Education Plan–jargon for the mandated federal IDEA–Individuals with Disabilities Act…for those unfamiliar with special education legalese).
Our first year of middle school, our young energetic and inventive special education teacher hosted a banquet to thank the children who had taken on the role of shepherding their special needs peers….Now, seventh grade, for some reason is a beast. Something developmental and scarily hormonal. Individuation or something 'nother….Create awareness in the PTA and with the principals. Talk about autism. Talk about differences–it's important to note–we all have them. Talk about bullying. See if there a bullying program in your district. How can your district facilitate interactions? (Don't assume your child will be bullied, but know that our population is vulnerable. Bone up and tuck some tools in your box. Many universities (hopefully one near you) can pilot programs or has consultants to aid. Help make Autism Awareness a focus during national month of April. Go talk to classes (without your child there.) Help make it into a special unit curriculum.
Awareness yourself is key. You are aware of the challenges–you can create a plan! To worry and fester about the possibility, however, is useless and detrimental to your emotional, mental and physical health.
Inhale deeply and: Take Faith. Have Hope. Think Positive. Believe. You've survived this far. You will continue….In fact, let's cancel the word "survive" and replace it with Thrive! Dare I be so cliche to repeat that old quote: "When Life Gets Tough, the Tough Get Going!"
Photo, above, of Grace and a middle school friend. This friendship was fostered by the best general education teacher we ever had. xoxo, Malinda Murphy. All these years later my gratitude bucket still overflows for her insightful, persistent doing-the-right-thing work. May ALL students and parents be so blessed.
